A Gujrati saying says ' Dikri ne gaay, Dore tya jaay' meaning a daughter and a cow, follows the line we draw for them. Our teachings and cultural guidance has taught us this and it runs deep in our social DNA. Then came a time when fathers educated their daughters, drawing them away from the line that society had drawn for them to follow along with the cows.
Now these daughters are educated and modern, earn well and even independent, strong willed women capable of supporting their parents and family instead of being 'boj' and marrying in to oblivion.
Women in India today though, are in a constant dilemma. They are educated but not independent decision makers. They are okay with arrange marriage but not serve family over their own self. They want to bear children but not sacrifice a career where they know its a set back to take a break.
All if us could learn more about self from Meghan Markle and her Royal wedding recently. I've seen enough of Suits and The Crown to know that this was a very less than ordinary journey. For Royal to marry her was surely life changing. Here are some of my observation that may guide every girl as she leads by example.
1. To a teenager :
Watch her video on Facebook about 'P&G Advertisement of 'Pots and Pans'. She acted on the suggestions of her father rather than feeling disturbed and sulking on it. If at the age of 11, you are bothered by such advertisement as I'm sure our daughters would be too, you are set to make your mark in the world. Follow your instincts and act on it.
2. To a young student or career woman :
Watch Suits, for her portrayal of Rachel Zane etched perfectly as a strong and independent woman. From not joining her dad's law firm but working for a competitor yet loving her family unconditionally. From failing to pass the LSATS but being the best paralegal in the top firm. For supporting her love against all odds and developing friendships by seeing the best in people. For tirelessly juggling studies and work. Most importantly, being consistent in her acting throughout Suits. She was just a love interest of the lead in the beginning of the series and became one of the core leads by the end of the sixth season. She's as graceful, charming and attractive in S1E4 as she's in S6E14..
3. To a girl of marriageable age :
She must've thought she found true love and then it ended. Own it and believe that it's not the end of the story. A heartbreak didn't mean she stopped looking. And she found her match in a Prince. It must have been difficult to cope with their differences in upbringing and cultures. It seems that it's working. Also, Find a man who supports you. Prince Harry must have had a lot of negotiation with regards to family protocol and Meghan as a fiancé. The presence of both ethnicities during the wedding ceremony is the proof that she was welcome to add her own element in to her special day.
4. To a newly married woman :
As I said, all the negotiations must have been difficult. The sermon, choir and instrumental was Meghan's choice and it was obvious. It was a shock to most of the aristocracy too.. The Crown has shown enough to gather that all this was far from the traditional approach of the Royals. Also, her father in law walking her down the Isle shows her equation with her future family. She has, on the other hand, deleted all her social media accounts and quit acting. This is the end of life as she has known so far. Right balance is the key. Hold your ground but don't hesitate to compromise and adjust to the new surroundings.
5. To a divorced woman and a single mother :
Meaghan's relationship with her mother is a special one. Their bond is as strong and supportive as it is with any mother and daughter. When hardly any of her family was invited to the wedding, with so much paparazzi n microscopic scrutiny of their family since her engagement, Meghan's mother has been her pillar of strength. If you ever thought how can you raise a child in adversity, her mothers silent pride during the ceremony is your answer.
6. To every woman in general :
She's older than most of the ladies looking for marriage, she's been through divorce and struggles in career we can only imagine. Yet, as she walked down that aisle on May 19, I could see in her mind she knows she deserves all of this and much more. There was silent confidence along with nervousness in her walk. It's at moments like this that you know what sets her apart and why Prince Harry is saying "I'm so lucky" to her right at the alter.
7. To the woman who believes in giving back to the society :
I didn't know about her Indian Connection and the work she had done towards menstrual hygiene awareness in India until her saree clad picture was published in Bombay Times. In her own capacity, she has been doing her bit as a responsible citizen of the world. That will now rise with her increased public exposure as a Royal and her duties that come with the title of Duchess of Sussex.
8. To friendship with ex- colleagues :
The entire star cast of Suits attended the wedding. I'm sure it was reasoned that this was a Royalty wedding and the invite doesn't come everyday. But I also believe they were all present to personally wish her joy and happiness on her special day, including our own Priyanka Chopra.
Her journey has only just began as she's getting used to the monumental changes of being under constantly compared to the other Royals for her choice of words and cloths, including her infamous Mother In Law. In sure Princess Di would be proud of her sons and in their choice of spouse. They married commoner for love rather than an aristocrat for status, like hers that was far from happy or successful.
So here's to all moms raising the next generation. Give them the exposure to these remarkable individuals of today who shed their inhibition and brightly shine to a better, equal and more tolerant world. We can only make sure that one day we too take our daughters out from the line with cows and let them stand with our sons. If Royals can do it, so can we.
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